The past few months I have felt disconnected in many ways. Disconnected from my job. Disconnected from my friends. Disconnected from my blog. Disconnected from my mission. Disconnected from my true self.
Ever since graduating from college, now almost 4 years ago, I’ve been hurling myself in any direction to make something of myself. What does that even mean really? Well, to me it meant getting out of Atlanta, building a career, and living a life with purpose. I, like many others, wanted to be successful and recognized – to feel like I’ve done something worth a shit.
The issue is I’ve been hurling myself into these intangible realities – intangible because I never sat down to actually define what it is I really, really want. Where do I want to live and why? What type of career do I want to build and what do I need to start doing now to prepare myself for it each day? What is my purpose and how can I exude that purpose on a daily basis in the work I do? How can I blend my sense of purpose with my work?
These questions have been weighing on me for some time, but life is always happening and it’s easy to get caught up in a routine. Sometimes the routine is a distraction from the reality that I have no fucking clue what I am doing. In short, I became numb.
In less than 3 months, I lost my home, one of my closest friends, and my job. I started questioning everything. I realized much of my life I have been afraid of being my true self. Afraid of close relationships. Afraid of rejection. Afraid of trying new things and failing. Afraid of wasting time.
Through much reflection, I’m learning that it’s okay not to know what’s going to happen next. It’s okay to try new hobbies and to not like them. It’s okay to experiment with my blog and not focus on becoming a brand. It’s okay to change my mind. What’s not okay is staying in situations that you are no longer connected to. What’s not okay is masking your true self to please others. It’s not okay to live in fear.
I guess what I’m trying to say with all of this is I’m here just trying to figure it out. I’m taking life day by day working to discover my true loves, hobbies, and interests.
With that being said, I’m not sure what Figs and Flannel will ultimately become. I’ll keep writing and I’ll be back to posting more regularly, but the content will fluctuate. I want to write content that people can relate to on a human-level. I love crafting, making healthy desserts, and chatting environmental awareness, but my thoughts are more multi-faceted than that.
This is me stepping out of the box and becoming who I am supposed to be. Anything could happen.
Thanks for reading,